So, you want a man who is awake, conscious, trustable and who is able to lead you while bringing out the best in you, as a woman?
Where are all the good men? I hear this often.
Do you realise this would require YOU to be an finely feeling woman who is subtle, yet powerful in her mind and body?
Maybe the question should be, would this type of 'good man' be attracted and want to be with you? Are you able to be with a man like this and what he brings to the table? Because there are things, this kind of man will NOT compromise or tolerate.
It will require your ALL. It will require that you own your shit, all of it, even the deep, dark, hidden, nasty bits even the shiny and polish of the filters and the fakeness.
Only superficial men are attracted to superficial shine, which is your exterior.
The 'good men' you seek may turn their head towards the Instagram babe or pretty, the shine and the pushup bra and he may find that attractive and maybe even sexy. However, 'good men' want more and often are attracted to sex appeal because sex appeal lingers, and it's fucking potent.
A good man respects a woman who can get shit done but she also knows when to soften into her body by being authentically and uniquely herself.
He won't play games, and he certainly will not entertain:
The nasty bitch who treats others poorly;
The manipulative bitch;
The tantrum thrower who must get her way despite the costs;
The floozy who sells herself and uses sex to get what she wants;
The needy little girl who wants constant reassurance;
The ditzy dolly-bird who isn't self-responsible;
The destructive wild woman who will tear anyone down because she feels like it;
The dictator who needs it to be her way or the highway;
The unhealthy mother who treats her man like a little boy vs. her lover
The victim who hasn't healed herself and want people to pander to her demands;
The hook sharpener who sinks her claws in to keep a man out of obligation;
Are you, as a woman, able to look at yourself in such a way where you can own your shit, name it, process it, access it and still look at it straight in the eye and tell it for fuck right off!
Do you have the skills to catch yourself when your insecurities kick in, your heart closes, you're in your head, and your mouth reacts? Can you still feel yourself internally enough to pause to reopen your heart and own your vulnerabilities in a way that allows him to support you fully? Can you let shit go and not hang on to stories, incidents and pains that no longer serve you?
Is this easy...fucking hell no....but this is what attracts a high quality man to a woman.
Can you keep your heart soft in rage, grief and pain?
Undoubtedly, this is where a 'good' man will step forward and will show you a world that only exists for a very few relationships. But, you have to be open and trust him.
Once you've experienced a good man, which doesn't have to be a lover, it could be a father-figure, friend or colleague, someone who made you feel loved and protected. If you feel it once, you'll crave that power forever.
So, how do we attract this man? Because they DO exist.
You spend time with other good, sexually open and supportive women;
You read books, and you keep learning about yourself;
You seek therapy for wounds, especially the ones you're unaware of;
You appreciate the power of your body for its natural beauty;
You will forgive every man who hurt you;
You devote yourself to love;
You move in a non-linear manner and often;
You are deeply connected to your vulva and breasts;
You are unapologetically you;
You own your shit;
Here's the truth, your strength and your softeness will inspire a good man, and he will see the depth of your heart, and he'll want a piece of that, and not a piece of arse. He'll want to match your love, kindness, depth, and fierceness as much as your softness because he, too, feels these things.
Your body and your sex will NOT be viewed as an activity, it'll be so much more than that. Your body will be sacred, an honour and something he savours. A good man knows the power of his cock and his heart. He knows that his sex is high quality as opposed to high quantity. His woman is something to be treasured, and he would NEVER objectify her, EVER!
If she says no, he will ask questions of himself first to make sure he's filling her heart outside of the bedroom to deserve her body and her sexual expression. He will honour her 'no' as her honouring herself and not as a rejection, and he will stay in his heart as a man, not turn into a sulky little boy.
This man is NOT driven by sex, so don't expect him to see you if you blend in with everyone else. He has to see and want your loving heart, your softness as a woman and the natural genius of your unique and powerful body.
It is best if you shine brightly as your natural and fullest self.
Women honour your power as wholehearted woman, and men, please appreciate and keep these womenclose when you come across them. GIVE them what they desire, which is your presence, as more than a 'good' man - but a GREAT one!
Big hugs and big loves,