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In movies and erotica, sex always looks good (and sounds even better). But in reality, sex can leave you feeling loved, supported and fulfilled or you can be left empty and dissatisfied. So, what makes sex good… or not?

Sex is a multi-dimensional experience.

Sex isn’t just physical; it’s also mental, emotional and spiritual. When you and your partner truly, madly, deeply love each other, the physical aspect of your relationship also becomes more enjoyable – good sex becomes better sex. However, when you and your partner don’t have any real connection, sex becomes mutual masturbation. Sad but true.

Let’s think about this: If a man doesn’t learn the art of lovemaking, he literally masturbates inside his wife’s vagina. As a consequence, that can’t be good sex. ☹

The power of surrender:

In order to have good sex, you must surrender to the act. (Yes, you read that right. I said “must”, not “should”.) You have to let go of overthinking and get totally and completely in your body and in the flow, thereby surrendering to the tantalizing pleasure of the entire sensual experience. 😉

Most people overthink situations frequently, so thinking gets in the way of feeling. Indeed, when you are caught up in thinking too much in your head, you aren’t present in your body. Yet to actually feel, you need to get out of your head and get into your body because you have to be 100% present in your body.

Interestingly, being present in your body allows you to transcend your body: this helps you to get into transcendent states where you enter an ecstatic level… infinite pleasure, endless love.

Truthfully, when you are able to get out of your head and into your body, you become more relaxed in general. Being calm and relaxed may not sound utterly relevant to sex; nevertheless, it’s really fundamental. As a matter of fact, it’s fundamental to living.

Sexual confidence:

Previously, I mentioned that sex is a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual experience. Now I’d like to point out that sex is also a psychological process: your sexual confidence directly determines the quality of your sex life.

To learn more about sexual confidence for men, please participate in Ejaculation Training in which men can learn exactly how to improve their penetration skills and ejaculation techniques.

To learn more about sexual confidence for women, please check out The Available Woman in which women can learn precisely how to feel absolutely empowered inside and outside the bedroom.


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