G O M O D E A N D F L O W M O D E - I T I S A D A N C E
Using the language, “masculine and feminine, vibration, frequency, yin and yang, channels and energies” has a 90’s feel but last time I looked...? We’re not in the ’90s anymore, right?! In some context, these words are fitting and useful. However, when teaching about relationships as we head into 2021, we need less fluff and more reality.
The words masculine and feminine make total sense to me when referring to sexuality, as most of us tend to have a preference for penetrating or being penetrated. The problem with using these words when teaching about how to relate is when they then can be linked to specific gender roles outside of the bedroom and within emotion and expression. I experienced a real ‘sense of not-being-enough or lack’ when I was told that, if I wanted to attract a ‘masculine’ man, then I had to be more of a ‘feminine’ woman.
Being a ‘feminine’ woman is the only way to attract a ‘masculine’ man - or is it??
It was with this misleading information that I lured me to trott off to attend various workshops and retreats in an attempt to find myself some more of this ‘feminine energy’ that these Tantric and conscious sexuality teachers kept referencing. However, what I discovered instead, were bunches of flakey-as-fuck women selling 'feminine sacredness' but what I can only describe as chaos and tantrum like expression while erotic dancing. Granted, like anything, you learn bits about yourself as you attend these things, but none of them made any real sense to me or shone a light on this whole ‘being feminine’ thing. I couldn’t be a flakey feminine allowing my emotions to drive me. I have a buseinss and a mortgage to pay and the bank doesn't give a fucking shit if I've got my period and I need time to honour my womb!
What I did discover was when I connected with other ‘well-grounded’ loving , accepting, supportive and gentle women. This was when my heart was felt full, as a women and with so much love and compassion given that it was hard not to feel feminine, soft and overflowing with love, it's truly magic!
When connecting with other ‘well-grounded’ loving women. it is hard not to feel feminine, soft and overflowing with love.
Using masculine and feminine when relating to today’s style of relationships seems easy enough. Still, in reality, it can be almost impossible to implement and understand in the context of actual realistic traits of human behaviour. These ‘fluff words’ that can lead to adding a whole heap of unnecessary pressure on people and their relationships trying to live in a way that isn’t clear to the everyday person.
So let’s talk about these energies in the form of clearer language when helping people in relating... ‘Go mode’ is about ‘doing’, being task-orientated and in your head. Go-mode looks like schedules, getting shit done and being on task. It is also known as ‘masculine energy’.
‘Flow mode’ is about ‘being’ being freedom orientated and in your body. Flow-mode looks like relaxation, non-linear movement, creativity and the felt sense. It is also known as ‘feminine energy’.
We all know that airy-fairy flakey as f*ck person who can’t make a goddamn decision, who is so in ‘flow-mode’ that it is as annoying as hell! And vice-versa, we all know that can’t stop the ‘go-mode’ who usually a work-a-holic who is always stressed and can’t seem to relax for even one moment and can’t seem to see or feel anything unless they get hit over the head with a two by four! *epic eye roll*
Without the appreciation for both ‘modes’, a disconnect can occur. Appreciating and balancing both modes is what creates the feeling of being supported in how and when you’re showing up.
Now, I have a disclaimer. When you deepen your spiritual journey, and you start to connect with language that resonates with you, then knock yourself out - it’s a beautiful experience. But, if you’re made to feel that once you do this, then you’ll feel that. It’s horse-shit... What you’re feeling is perfect for you and where your life has taken you, and no Tantra teacher (including myself) is going to give you your answers because there are no cookie-cutter style answers to the path you walked.
That’s what makes you awesome and unique.