Updated: Aug 16
How to have better sex after kids
A relationship is a dynamic. When circumstances change, the relationship also changes. When you get married, your relationship differs from your dating dynamic. But after giving birth to children, this dynamic becomes dramatically different – many couples stop having sex after kids.
Yes, you are a parent, but you are also a lover.
Yes, kids are a focus; however, kids can not occupy all of your time and space.
A great way to nurture intimacy with your partner is to remind yourselves of the specific context in which you definitely had a wonderful sexual connection as a couple – What traits did your partner have at that time? What qualities did your marriage have at that time?
Cast your mind back to the exact setting: Were you on holiday? Was it at a party in the closet of your neighbour's house against a wall of other guests' coats? What setting/context genuinely turns both of you on?
You are a mum, but you are also an orgasmic woman and playful partner.
Taking enough time to fulfil your individual emotional and physical needs can give you sufficient bandwidth to nurture your marriage. As a result, sex wouldn't feel like another task on your to-do list.
You are biologically programmed to be an orgasmic woman. Sexual pleasure is your birthright. Hence, sex shouldn't be an obligation, but the only way it wouldn't become an obligation is if you actively contribute to the erotic friction and the playfulness as lovers.
You are a dad, but you are also an active father and contributing partner.
Taking enough initiative to acknowledge and appreciate unpaid housework and parenting needs can give you a balanced perspective on maintaining a healthy and enjoyable marriage. In this way, you authentically understand your partner and the beautiful relationship you've built, so sex isn't a chore!
You are entitled to sexual pleasure. Meanwhile, it's your responsibility to contribute to the erotic polarity and spontaneity in your romantic relationship so that sex can remain exciting!
Make plans for space and disrupt patterns for the sake of erotic friction.
Do you know why English has the most extensive vocabulary among all world languages? (The English language also has various phrases and sentence patterns.) Well, that's because the English language avoids repetition, which is the beauty of this most widely spoken language in the world.
Indeed, repetition kills the fun because it's so dull and boring. Likewise, repetition also kills the attraction in a romantic relationship. You should develop new and creative ideas to change your routine with your partner so that erotic friction can be cultivated! What can you do differently this weekend? 😉
Consider attending classes and learning about relationships.
Make sure to do it before it's too late or your relationship is overcome with resentment.
Taking concrete action as soon as possible is paramount because many marriages could be saved if being open to new experiences and deepening your connection was done early.
"We should have come here to see you X years ago." Many couples have told me exactly that during a session, event or coaching program.
If you would like extra support to improve your sex life after birth, don't hesitate to contact me now because chances are the best time to learn more was last month, and the second-best time to start learning more is today.
You won't regret it....