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Friends with Benefits: Can You Have Your Cake and Eat it Too?

Let's be honest - sometimes, we just want some good old-fashioned no-strings-attached fun. And who better to share it with than a friend, right? But can we really keep things casual when it comes to sex with someone we care about? Here, we explore whether friends with benefits can actually work.

Is it a benefit if there is not friendship?

That's the question - and when it comes to casual sex with a friend, the answer is just as ambiguous. While some people might be able to separate their feelings from the physical act, others find it harder to keep things casual. The key to success? Communication. Setting boundaries and being honest about your expectations can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the line.

What Screws it Up?

There are a number of factors that can turn a casual hookup into a complicated mess. Overthinking, lack of communication, and societal conditioning can all play a role. But perhaps the biggest factor is simply biology. When we have sex with someone, our bodies can release hormones that promote bonding and attachment. It's only natural that we might develop feelings for our casual partner. If you're considering a friends with benefits arrangement, be aware that you may develop romantic feelings it just means a new conversation needs to be had. It's also essential to maintain the friendship aspect of the relationship, as simply using someone for sex to fit the arrangements to only suit one person will quickly turn into a meaningless booty call because without the friendship, is there really a benefit? Remember, if you don't prioritize friendship with the bare-minimum care or concern, that shit gets old quickly.

Without the friendship, is there really a benefit?

A personal share

I have connected with some incredible men in my life who started out as sexual and then became friends, or friends first and then became intimate. Even though our relationships have evolved in different ways, I deeply love and appreciate all of them. Some of these men have become the most important people in my life because they accept me for who I am and provide a safe space for me to be vulnerable. They are men who spend time with me whether we have sex or not. They have held me while I ugly cried and wiped my snot on their shirt when feeling emotional, and for that, I am eternally grateful. They have touched my heart in ways that I will forever and always cherish.

They have held me while I ugly cried and wiped my snot on their shirt

At the end of the day, whether or not friends with benefits can work depends on the individuals involved. It's possible to have casual sex without the romantic ties and obligations - but it takes a lot of honesty, communication, and self-awareness. So, before you dive into bed with your bestie, make sure you're ready for the potential consequences. And hey, if it does work out? More power to you! Just remember to enjoy the ride (pun intended).


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